


you wish

by cihuai



Series: i’m in love, don’t play with me [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Again, Best Friends, Hyunjin Can’t Get Over It, M/M, Part 2, Three months later, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, hes kinda depressed if you squint, hyunjin suffering again, idk how to tag, minsung is so loud rn, seungmin being that bitch once again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 14:11:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cihuai/pseuds/cihuai
Summary: hyunjin’s trying so hard to move on, he has no other choice anyways. it’s confirmed that his love for minho is nothing but one-sided.





	you wish

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING. 
> 
> this is a SECOND part to my last fic, so please please please go back and read the one first to avoid confusion, thank you. i’ve made it a series to make things less complicated. 
> 
> ok so, i gave in (obviously) and made a part 2. LMAO i felt kinda bad for what i left y’all with and many people wanted a part 2 anyways so why not. also, i’ve become an angst lover so uh (spoiler) don’t expect too much from this hehe ok now continue

over the last two months, hyunjin has stopped questioning himself — his mentality, per say. he's stopped the continuous and obnoxious traumatic thoughts he'd get; constantly asking himself if he will ever be good enough. sure, it was a very badly cynical task he's overcome throughout his young lifetime, but with enough encouraging words and distant doubts, he's learned to move on.

if move on means being unbeknownst to the fact that, yes, there's still that faint bubble encased inside of him that longs for his friend, then hyunjin would gladly take the cake. it's too hard, honestly. it's overwhelming and suffocating in all of the worst ways. he'd thought that by now, he'd be over the whole in love thing. that he'd be over wanting to spend the rest of his life with minho — but god, he was so, so wrong.

for months on end, he'd watch on, watch as minho awed at someone else. that someone was definitely not himself. playing pretend tired him out, mentally and physically. pretending to be perfectly okay with the fact that all of his hopes and dreams were crushed right before his eyes. that was too much, so much on his puny little heart. he wanted to kill the pain so badly, there was just no way he could take another blow to the heart.

hyunjin is dumb, he knows that — seungmin had verbally said it one too many times before. he did foolish things, said foolish things, and just could not stay away from being terribly impulsive for the life of him. so yeah, sleeping around was his only reasonable option at this point. if he wanted to forget about minho, climaxing his feelings away was the only little light that dinged inside of his head.

"i think you're crazy." that's exactly what he's been hearing for quite some time now, and it's gotten outwardly old. seungmin never fails to inform him, though somewhere laced within his playful tone, there's an obvious trace of pure concern. "i mean, you're better than this, jin."

hyunjin doesn't like being scolded either, if the frown on his face isn't all too telling. he's well aware that he isn't the brightest at times, too impulsive, yet far too overthinking. it didn't make up a good match in the end, just making hyunjin out to be an emotional mess. he's heard that one enough.

tired and dreary eyes watch as seungmin pulls a teal jacket over his slim shoulders, the pull to his lips so, so dejecting. he's sorry for him, yet no where near as sorry as hyunjin is for himself. the dressing man before him wants nothing more than hyunjin's happiness, he's sure of it, but he's incredibly incapable of breaking down the horrendous walls hyunjin has built around himself. "i'm not crazy, you're crazy." childish insults? that's his mojo.

seungmin, both shoes now comfortably snug on his feet, hair styled prettily and lips shining, turns to give his attention to hyunjin's disheartened figure. slouched over his twin bed, knees hanging from the back side and head taking all of his blood, certainly isn't going to do him justice later on. he wants to say so much, but hyunjin's already the leftover remains of heartbroken and confused, he surely doesn't need to be the one who worsens that feeling.

"seriously?" is all he could utter, and for that, hyunjin feels bad. how had it come to this? never, never in his life would he have thought he'd bring seungmin to such disappointment and astonishment. it's angering to such a leveled extent. only a fool could trigger the dismay seungmin beholds. "please, for the love of god, tell me you'll stop this."

hyunjin, lower lip between his teeth, trying so terribly hard to halt the tremble, doesn't bother lifting himself up to face his biggest mortification — right after saying a simple hello to minho, that is. for someone who surely knows how to fuck around, he's definitely the biggest and most sensitive man alive; on campus. everyone knows that, even minho, for the several times he'd spent hours on end soothing a sobbing hyunjin over some trivial problem. hyunjin vows to let that be the only time the older ever sees him unravel like that.

maybe his silence and nonuniform whimpers of woe gives him away, for his ears capture seungmin's easy steps towards him, a small hand encasing his chin and bringing hyunjin up for imposed eye contact. "i'm sorry." seungmin whispers, regretful eyes studying hyunjin's droopy ones. he knows that he's tired and emotion-triggered, and it aches for him as well. "i'm just so worried about you."

maybe it wasn't the best time for hyunjin to sniffle, seeing as seungmin only slightly jumps from the sudden intrusion of silence — second time in two minutes, that's a record. hyunjin, with as much strength and capability as possible, pulls one arm up to throw around seungmin's shoulder, burying his face into his fresh clothing. the positioning is awkward and troubled, hyunjin's spine skimming to exude aches later on for sure, but letting out his frustration and utterly, miserably heartbroken tears is comforting for his body.

"hey, i love you, alright?" seungmin whispers into the air soon enough, one hand prodding at the knots in hyunjin's back. it's helpful, he hadn't even known they were there in the first place. sometimes, hyunjin just can't bring himself to thank the heavens for dragging seungmin into his life — even if the majority of the time, it's the younger going mom mode because hyunjin is a dejected and wrecked loser.

the taller sneers lightly, pulling his face back. he just knows he looks absolutely terrible, and he's only half thankful that seungmin doesn't say anything. "i love you too, loser." when he groans, pulling his body back upright to sit properly on his bed, seungmin only smiles, rising back to his feet as well. the moment just mere seconds ago foreseen like an affliction. "now go, you have a date to attend, i'm sorry for keeping you."

unlike hyunjin, seungmin's been seeing someone. if this was almost two years ago, hyunjin would probably be crushed, for his admiration for seungmin still lingered. but, this time around, he's beyond happy for him, elated even. if one of them deserved someone, it'd be his best friend, and he has zero problems whatsoever with that.

seungmin reaches out quickly, ruffling hyunjin's already messy strands. "thank you, jinnie. i'll see you later?"

at that, hyunjin nods, his own laughter suppressed at the snot and drool he's left smeared on his friend's new jacket. he has exactly two hours to prepare himself for the verbal slaughter he'll certainly receive when he finds out.

this scenario is all too familiar. it's become such a comfortable and well known routine throughout the last year or so. hyunjin's head pressed into minho's chest, eyes squinted and legs entangled within slightly shorter ones. his socked feet occasionally knocking against minho's blanket covered ankles, warm fingers traced into the older's shirt as the movie whispers into the air. yes, his nose may be red and cold to the touch from the nippy air of hyunjin's dorm, but it's a distant thought when he's cuddled up by that particular person.

like this, hyunjin finally, finally feels at peace. his restless days and nights, endless faux smiles and half-assed pleasures becoming nothing but something to bury; bury deep within his cluttered mind, but only for the time being. he's mentally and physically taken away, softly caressed and shifted into a state of serendipity, one where he's encased and dwelled within nothing but himself and the one he once longed for. longed. he's ready to move on.

maybe he has, but there's that piece of him that won't stop the nagging. won't stop giving hyunjin those lethal thoughts. it's fine though, he's fine. he's perfectly okay with moving on, he's perfectly okay with not getting what he's always wanted in the end, he's perfectly okay with eternally having to swallow down that lump of sorrow in his throat — he's fine, he's fine, he's fine.

he's not fine with jisung being minho's boyfriend.

"how are things with jisung?" hyunjin breaks the still air, and it's like all of the knives of pity come jabbing into his haggard body. he hates that feeling. god, he despises the consuming feeling of self distress that washes over him whenever he even utters a word related to minho's relationship. to make matters worse, he knows minho could feel it too. maybe he's sparing hyunjin the humiliation.

chuckling, minho cards a few fingers through hyunjin's hair, working his way over the craggy knots. he's thankful for that, it saves him the extra time in the shower. "you ask me this everytime we hang out." it's true, he can't help his monstrous, nosy intentions.

"i know, but," hyunjin shrugs, sighs, pulls himself up to be awkwardly situated on minho's thighs. it feels so wrong. so, so wrong. he shouldn't be inwardly enjoying the way the air feels right now, or even worse, he shouldn't be basking in the pleasure he feels that maybe, just maybe he'd want to switch places with jisung so that he could do this all the time without his overwhelming dread. "i'm just curious, that's all."

"do you want me to make a calendar of everything jisung and i do everyday to give you for your birthday?" minho snickers before he could even finish, head against the armrest and both hands coming up, slipping between the rips in hyunjin's jeans. hyunjin wants him to stop, but there's a part of him that doesn't.

hyunjin giggles, swatting minho across the chest brutally as his take of revenge. it's enough to get the male beneath him wailing exaggeratedly, kneeing hyunjin's comfortable figure off of him in a swift motion. he stumbles to one foot, catching himself short thanks to his cheap, green coffee table situated before the couch. hyunjin is absolutely distasteful against seungmin's choice of furniture.

hyunjin, sadly, completely removes himself from minho's lap. hell, it was the best idea he's ever had, for he would've certainly done something completely out of his boundaries otherwise. he isn't ready to bring back all of those haunting feelings that destroyed him just a few months back. he's moved on.

the thing is, hyunjin has found himself not completely hating jisung's guts as time passed. sure, he viciously and so carelessly took away the love of his life in the past, but jisung as a person, possibly being totally unaware of hyunjin's want, that's someone hyunjin had grown almost fond of. almost. not quite, because yes, finding out that minho was taken by his worst enemy tore him to pieces. alongside spending a year pining, that surely had to be the worst day of his life.

it had taken a while to get over it. the many nights he'd spent sobbing into seungmin's pajamas, refusing to release the sleep deprived male until he'd knocked out. his head would swirl with negativity the entire time, ears steaming and chest heaving so terribly. so, so heartbroken he was. his worst nightmare had actually became reality, he hated the position he'd taken in life. having to wake up to that same pain, and pretending to be fine with it was the last thing he was worried about.

minho would come to his dorm after some days, lip worried between his teeth because hyunjin hadn't been around in quite some time. the look of complete concern and hurt that would take over minho's every feature would break hyunjin even further, but he wanted minho to be the last person to see him like that.

he hated and loved how minho had taken notice of his absence. hated it because it meant that hyunjin would have to explain — he'd have to lie about the dark circles under his eyes and the overdue college work piling up on his dresser. he'd have to lie about why he hadn't answered his calls and text messages in six days, or why his seat was always empty with no explanation as to why. he was so sick of lying, it never did anything but tear him to shreds in the end. that one, useless lie of his denial of feelings was what got him here in the first place.

yet, he loved that minho had taken notice of his absence. god, he loved it so much. he would hang over the edge of earth for one glance his way. he didn't just dwell in attention, he dwelled in minho's attention only. he wanted it all, every last drop. even if he'd get just a sprinkle of it from time to time, jisung downing the whole cup, he was satisfied. he was content with having minho sneak into his dorm, unperceived to his air of sadness, with chocolate and free hugs to give. oh, how thankful he was that the older never bothered to pester him about it, only smiling softly and kissing his temple as he shimmied out of their cuddle, exiting the room late in the night.

he's glad that phase is over. or so, he hopes. he thinks. he wants it to be. he wishes for the painful relief to finally wash over him. seungmin had told him that he's improving majorly, so he'll let those words sink in until further notice.

"hyunjin, you idiot, are you still here?" minho waves a hand over hyunjin's glazed out face, blinking down at him in raw amusement. his bangs have fallen beautifully over his brows, but the squint pulling his features together reads into his emotions better. "dude, you went to candy land for a second."

hyunjin laughs at minho's polite attempt at lifting the mood, probably because he knows hyunjin just doesn't zone out for simplified reasons. sure, he may be oblivious to hyunjin's feelings, but he's his best friend after all, he's capable of reading him almost as well as seungmin is. hyunjin feels the permanent knife twist into his chest at that thought itself.

"did i?" he chortles, gasping quietly when minho brushes his bangs out of his face.

"totally." his answer comes quick, right hand desperately trying to remove any traces of sweat that's managed to build on hyunjin's forehead. he's so embarrassed, he can tell by the way his heart jumps and how his cheeks boil his face alive. minho's head tilts this time, lips drawn into a frown, and hyunjin wants to dig a hole at what's to come. "hey, hyunjin? what's the matter? like, what's seriously bothering you this much?"

if possible, the speed of his heart picks up, knocking harshly against his chest in attempts to exit. he wants to escape his body as a whole, he's always dreading whenever minho uttered those words, because he knows the sudden shift of his mood was all too noticeable.

"nothing, hyung." he sighs, turning away from his touch. his fingers shake as he clutches them, attempting to still the anxiousness eating away at his whole entirety. "i'm just a little overheated, that's all." worst excuse giver of the year would definitely go to hyunjin, and he'd take it with happy hands.

minho, expression lacking any playful manner, nudges hyunjin in the shoulder, successfully getting the younger to put his all into the conversation once more. this time, hyunjin could see the hurt slow dancing in minho's pupils, the hurt written all over his face like an unspoken mantra. the streak of worry brimming over his lower lids, struggling terribly to read his friend. his best friend.

maybe, all this time, hyunjin was the blind one. he wasn't the victim, he was the suspect all along. he'd been so wrapped around himself, his problems, his situations, his trials and errors, his everything. he hadn't even taken the time out of his day, his week, his months and years to spare minho some feelings. he'd thrown around best friend so easily, but did he truthfully behave like one? absolutely not. he was terrible, and when he caught that glance at minho, even just for a second, he wanted to shrivel into a pile of nothing. that's what he was worth, anyways.

"hyung—" his breath hitches unexpectedly, the seething lump in his throat growing rasher by the second. as well as hyunjin's heart, minho breaks eye contact. hyunjin doesn't blame him for not wanting to look at him any longer. he's pathetic, he's so pathetic. how badly he wishes he had seungmin right about now, cradling him and assuring him that everything will be just fine. but, he doesn't, just the face of devastation. "hyung, i'm sorry, i just—"

minho smiles so, so softly, bringing his eyes back up to meet hyunjin's. "don't worry about it, yeah?" never in hyunjin's life had he seen minho in such a state of loss, and he could only blame himself. "tell me whenever you're ready, there's no rush."

his lips part, wanting to apologize again, wanting to give his all to the keeper of his heart, wanting to let his mouth lead his brain, even if it's completely inappropriate because he's a taken man. he needs to get everything off of his chest to avoid further damage to their relationship, but he just can't. he mentally can't bring himself to.

minho's eyes never leave his until hyunjin nods, minho following suit with a mirroring expression. he's a terrible friend for not giving minho a proper explanation, and lying to him for all this time, he knows that. he knows so much, yet speaks so little. he'll change soon, just not now. he doesn't have the will power.

when seungmin returns to the dorm not too soon after, finding hyunjin and minho cuddled up on the couch, movie credits rolling in as they're deep in slumber, he could only smile in admiration. he could only hope that something good had went done during those two hours, and he was sure that whatever had happened, he'd get an ear full of it whenever minho leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> please give your feedback pls lol i’m shaking idky i got so nervous posting this 
> 
> but yes, i’m a softie and i made another part ): enjoy and everyone have a nice day. (i might change the title and summary later on, depends on how i’m feeling) but anywho i always write when i’m supposed to be sleeping lmao but i really hope you enjoyed this byebye


End file.
